


Tear stained and tainted with desire.

by Jolly_Rancherz



Series: Sidemen stories. [11]
Category: The Ultimate Sidemen
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Gambling Addiction, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:40:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29816811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jolly_Rancherz/pseuds/Jolly_Rancherz
Summary: It was ruining his life.Locked up in a cell he created with the key dangling just beyond his reach.He was physically here but rarely ever mentally, prisoner to his addictions.
Series: Sidemen stories. [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093112
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Tear stained and tainted with desire.

**Author's Note:**

> Major warnings: drug, alcohol and gambling addictions.

_Harry wanted to scream._

_He hated that he just couldn't stop._. 

Lewis was currently in his room, sitting on the edge of his bed; hands grasping one another with such an excruciating grip to ensure his hands didn't trail away. 

He should've seen how this would backfire. 

Behind his back **-** where he needed to push all this and **keep it behind him-** was an assortment of alcohol, blunts, edibles….all sorts of shit he had tucked away. 

All laid out behind him, in the open. 

_Yet, he was too scared to turn around and face it._

He felt tears blur his vision and his hands felt numb from its unbearable grasp. 

It had gotten uncontrollable, _he was constantly seeking something to feel something._

He couldn't focus, couldn't relax; mind **constantly** wanting a drag, a sip, the thrill of placing bets on pure luck…

_It was ruining his life._

_Locked up in a cell he created with the key dangling just beyond his reach._

He was physically here but rarely ever mentally, prisoner to his addictions. 

He wished he was stronger, wished he would’ve just said no, wished he wasn't so dependent on substances to mask his emotions. 

**Anxious? Take a drag.**

**Sad? Take a sip.**

**Bored? Place a bet.**

He felt an exasperated breath fall from his lips and cringed when he felt tears stain his face. 

Turning around, he hated the familiarity. Hated he couldn't do it. Couldn't let go. 

Shackles weighing him down that he brought upon himself. 

_Next time, he promised. Knowing he said the exact same phrase all those ‘last times’ ago._

_His hands were shaking when he picked up the bottle, rinsing away the guilt._


End file.
